Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize