don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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