My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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