What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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