so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
