she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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