we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
