if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
