we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
