you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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