Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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