i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
