Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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