who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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