oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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