When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
