That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
