yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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