my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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