spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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