Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
