i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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