no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
