puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
