Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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