Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
