please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
