i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
