It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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