census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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