I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
