I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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