Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
