am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
