And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
