i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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