So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
