Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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