i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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