He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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