thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
