i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
