he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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