I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Every concussion has its silver lining
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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