If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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