I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize