I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
