I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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