I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
