How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
