Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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