It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Vodka?
Forever.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize