STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
