i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize