I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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