Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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