i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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