You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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