playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
