Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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