Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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