well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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