Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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