I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
