Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
