Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
