come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
