Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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