9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize